I haven't really been motivated to write here for the past week or so. I'm kinda tired of my own opinion. (I'm not really sure what that means psychologically so I guess it could be good or bad. But I don't think I can be any more fucked in the head than usual, so I'm sure I'll be fine.)
I'm kinda trying to take a break from trying to figure shit out all the time and just get back to living in the moment for a bit. Just trying to deal instead of analyzing and dealing. Just for a little bit anyway.
It seems that I've been writing about the same shit for the last three years. After awhile I get kinda tired of hearing myself go up and down the same emotional/spiritual roller coaster all the time.
I'm not angry. I'm not displeased. I'm not upset. I'm just tired. I need a little break. Not from writing, mind you, but from my mind... mind you...
I'll still be posting here. But, I think I'm going to focus on some odd news events or other behavior that can seem more substantive than all the existential issues I've been focusing on lately.
Then, when I'm ready, I'll get back to making an effort to figure some stuff out. Then again, maybe if we don't try so hard we can get the answers we need. We'll see. I'll let you know. I'll be keeping things simple instead of complicated.
This month, in Outside magazine, Evan Ratliff wrote a fascinating story on Garrett Lisi. Who is Garrett Lisi? Garrett Lisi is practically a surf bum who is shaking up the world of physics by offering brilliant solutions and defying the institution by existing outside its realms of spit and polish comfort. (He lives in a van and drives around, surfing different breaks in the world with his books and laptop.) He has been compared to Einstein, making his detractors even more furious. He's a true iconoclast.
At one point in his interview the humble guy reflects on the price tag of living the way you want, "Deep down everybody wants to do what they want to do. They just feel they can't... It just takes sacrifices."
I don't know much. I know living my dream is hard. But I know it's the right path. I feel it.
And I feel very fortunate. Even amidst all the sacrifices. Stay tuned to see what this goofy, awe-inspiring world will turn up for me next. I'll be looking forward to sharing it with all you very limited few who read this blog regularly. Until then I hope you're livin' instead of living. I hope you can recognize the difference. And I'm positive I'm not hoping for too much.