In the big scheme of things, I've got it good. I know that. I'm not starving (at least not yet), my house hasn't been flooded because of a busted levee and I'm not one of the 85,000 people who died in Myanmar's devastating cyclone.
That being said, it's been a long week. The move has been mentally and emotionally taxing and I am often reminded of one of my Nana's favorite phrases, "This too shall pass."
Lately I've been holding things too close to the bone. As I've gotten older, I realize that dealing with other people means dealing with an entirely new perspective on life. Always, even with like-minded viewpoints on almost every other worldly event, there will always be a fork in the road where one person would go one way and another person would go another. And nothing brings out those times like a stressful moment.
I have tried not to let my emotions get the better of me. I've tried not to take things so personally and be more business oriented about certain issues. But I have been frustrated this past week to the point of wondering if what I was doing (moving in with my obsessive-compulsive girlfriend, not telling my current roommate he's acting like the most selfish bastard in the world) was indeed the best option. Would it be better to pack up my surfboard, my passport, my computer and a few clothes and get the fuck out of here?
I guess I could do that, but I've never ran from a problem in my life. And once you start down that road I would guess it would be really hard to turn back. So I do what I always do, I put my head down and wade in until it's over.
The fact of the matter is, my girlfriend has her quirks. We all do. Everybody's crazy and our long-lasting relationships are merely about degrees of tolerance. When the dust settles, the house will be cleaner... both literally and metaphorically speaking actually. Which will be nice.
The fact of the matter is my roommate IS a selfish bastard. He always has been. His life is about convenience. I hope one day it will change, because I believe convenience can only lead to lonely and empty feelings later. He has a good heart and a sound mind. Wisdom is not beyond him.
The fact of the matter is this move isn't just about me. Wading in with open arms instead of closed fists will lead to a much more agreeable situation. A better life. I know that my emotions can get the better of me, which is the first step in controlling them. The first step to peace. Peace would also be nice.
Obstacles have never stopped me. They have merely been hurdles or stepping stones. And the reason is simple, in a complicated sort of way: this too shall pass.